Here’s where it gets weird. The reason I left my bike unlocked is because I was given a new one. I rode my new bike out to Canadian Tire on Richmond Road to get a lock and carrier for it, and when I got back my old bike was gone.

The new bike isn’t really new. It’s an old Raleigh. Raleigh is a very solid brand and it’s in great shape for such an old bike.

I’m shocked that my bike was stolen. I thought it was unstealable because of being so ugly. I even painted it black to make it uglier. Now I don’t know whether to paint the Raleigh or not, if it won’t do any good anyway. Look at those spiff yellow handlebars!

I still think the principle of unstealableness is basically correct. Just the other day a bike mechanic declined to give my old bike a spring tuneup. He said I should just throw it away and get a new one. I’m pretty sure a bike that’s unrepairable is also unstealable.

Actually, this insensitive remark just hurt my feelings and made me not want to go to that bike shop anymore. (It was Foster’s on Bank. Don’t go there.) Not only did it hurt my feelings, it was ignorant, because it is an attitude that leads to landfills full of ugly but perfectly fixable bikes.

Anyway, if a bike isn’t locked, you can’t prevent somebody from just hopping on it and taking a ride on a fine spring day like this. Even if it is technically unstealable and has no resale value, it still has joyride value. That’s what I think happened. I should have pulled it into the house.

But it’s ok. I don’t need two bikes anyway.

Updated Feb.20: I’ve posted reviews of both movies: The Bicycle Thief and Beijing Bicycle.

It’s hard for a bike rider like me to watch movies about bike thieves. I knew it was coming, especially in “The Bicycle Thief,” and I could hardly stand it. I had to close my eyes. I kept muttering “Don’t turn your back on your bike!” and “Don’t you have a lock?” It’s only when the bike was properly stolen that I was able to relax and enjoy the rest of the movie.

People in other parts of the world take bikes a lot more seriously than we do. “Beijing Bicycle” shows a couple of guys trying to carry a refrigerator on a bike.

In “The Bicycle Thief,” Italian poster-hangers haul around huge ladders and buckets of glue on their bikes.

I’ve never actually had a bike stolen. (Touch wood.) I try to make them unstealable by painting them black with spray paint and defacing them with dorky milk crates and those “One less car” stickers. Here is my bike waiting for spring.

That’s pretty much what I’m doing too.

Saigon Boy

Here’s what’s coming in to the former Dixie Lee on Somerset near Bronson.

Mouse Scrabble

If I wanted to play Scrabble with a mouse named Squeak, and not win too much at first, I might devise a new game in which each player starts with a rack of letters that spell their name. It would be a very short game in keeping with a mouse’s attention span. You’d have to play all your letters at once. You might play for cheese or chocolate.

If I went first I’d play “Robin” for 16 points.

Then I’d be out of letters and it would be Squeak the mouse’s turn. Squeak, having an S, would be able to play “Robins” and “Squeak” for 42. Squeak wins!

Or if Squeak the mouse went first, he’d probably play “Squeak” for a whopping 48 points.

I’d pretty much have to respond with “Robins,” using Squeak’s S, for 29. And Squeak gets the cheese!

But actually I haven’t been playing Scrabble with Squeak the mouse. Haven’t heard a peep out of him. Maybe he found another place where they have better cheese. Maybe they have Brie and Gorgonzola there, and possibly a better selection of board games. In that case I can’t blame him for moving on.

Update Feb.22: The scientific Buzz experiment has moved to Buzz Experiment.