Watawa life » New mayor

Hockey, radio, mayor update

Robin Kelsey — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 02:38:23 +0000

I’m a fairweather hockey fan who only likes my team, the Ottawa Senators, when they’re winning. And boy are they winning! I like this team a lot.

I’m also a very discerning critic of my favourite radio station, CBC One. And the mayor too.

Since Jason Spezza and Mike Fisher went out with knee injuries, my hockey team has racked up an astonishing 1000 wins and zero losses. Some miserable fans are calling for the dashing twosome to be traded, since the team plays better without them, but I don’t go there. They can come back as long as they fit in and don’t get too cocky. They will probably have to play on a newly-created seventh line with the stick boy and the goalie coach.

As for the CBC, I’m pleased to report that that tedious afternoon program called um… I can never remember what it’s called, featuring um… I can’t remember who’s on it, is being cancelled in mid-March. Yay!

In exchange we’re getting Jian Ghomeshi. I like Jian ok but like the insufferable Brent Bambury, he’s starting to think he’s too cool for life on earth. This cannot be so because as everyone knows, only Watawa life blog is too cool for life on earth.

Thanks to the miracle of multitasking, I’m actually watching a hockey game at this very moment. You couldn’t even tell, could you?

This is a great game. My team, the Sens, are playing another really good Canadian team, the Vancouver Canucks. So far there is no score and they seem very evenly matched. Both teams are demonstrating a knowledge of puck control, responsible D, and sizzling O.

Most people think the Canucks have a better goalie in Roberto Luongo, but I don’t see how it could be true. Roberto is for hairdressers. Goalies should be named Ray like our goalie, Ray Emery.

I don’t know who will win but I think it will be well-deserved. I don’t even care who wins. Vancouver is my home town after all. I just hope they don’t crush us. Be kind Vancouver! Don’t spit in our faces when we’re down.

As for the mayor, the jury is still out. He committed another rookie gaffe by criticizing the city councillors’ work ethic when they voted to call it a day at 7 PM. This business-guy mayor doesn’t seem to get that the councillors don’t actually work for him. And he can’t fire them.

But there’s still not much to say about the mayor until we get a budget. What will he keep? What will he cut? Will you have to take your garbage to the landfill in the trunk of your car? Stay tuned.

Oh-oh, Vancouver has scored! But I’m not downhearted. Maybe we’ll come back.

Oh-oh! They scored again. Now I’m a little bit downhearted.

As for Kathleen Petty on the CBC, I’m getting used to her. At least she’s starting to sound like she’s heard of Pinecrest before. Life goes on, people move, Lucy Van Oldenbarneveld gets to be on TV. I’m sure it’s all ok. But I’m a creature of habit and I liked hearing Lucy on the radio.

Lucy

I like Hallie Cotnam too.

Alfredsson scores! What will happen?

Awww…

My life in hockey

Robin Kelsey — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 01:30:08 +0000

Hockey! I can’t even skate.

I grew up in Burnaby, BC, where there is no natural ice. We played hockey in parking lots and lacrosse boxes wearing running shoes with a tennis ball for a puck. It was fun but the friction with the cement was murder on our sticks.

Lacrosse was much more popular than hockey in my neighbourhood. Lacrosse sticks were beautiful in those days. They were made out of leather and wood. (Nowadays of course they are plastic.)

Once when I was down at the lacrosse box tossing a ball against the boards, I was approached by local juvenile delinquent Greg Hatch. He wanted to show me his gun. I had never seen a gun before so I said OK. It was kind of exciting to see a gun. And I didn’t get shot.

I wonder in which federal institution Mr. Hatch now resides. If I knew I might send him a postcard.

When I reached high school a few kids were playing hockey on teams down at the arena. Maybe they came from other parts of Canada where they have ice. Anyway I wasn’t into it. We didn’t even watch Hockey Night in Canada at my house. My life went on without hockey.

Later on when I was living in Bancroft, Ontario, I realized that if you weren’t going to go to the Arlington Hotel on a Saturday night, there wasn’t much to do except watch Hockey Night in Canada. I thought my life would be enriched if I could learn to like hockey. So I did. Now I live in Ottawa so I’m a Senators fan.

The Senators

God they are awful this year.

As someone whose hockey credentials are that they have never actually played a game and they have weak ankles, I have a few opinions about this terrible team:

They never control the puck. They seem to think it will be ok if they allow the other team to control the puck most of the time. Then when they happen to get it, they think they will will launch an explosive attack and score.
This would be a reasonable plan if only it worked. I think coach Bryan Murray should have taught them puck control.
The defence is horrible. This team only has one good defenceman, the often-injured Wade Redden. The others (Volchenkov, Meszaros) are works in progress.
Redden showed up at training camp out of shape and immediately suffered a groin injury. Once he was over that he suffered a chest injury.
I think Redden let his status as Number 1 defenceman go to his head. He thought he was hot stuff so he didn’t need to work out in the off-season. If I had just been awarded a 6 million dollar contract I probably wouldn’t work out in the off-season either. But I also wouldn’t show up for work. I’d just take the money and run. Maybe I’d go live in Goa.
This year’s Senators are badly coached and badly managed. They might not even make the playoffs. If I were the owner I’d fire the coach, fire the GM, fire myself, and try and get this thing back on track.
I might just stop watching. I’m a fair-weather fan anyway. I only like my team if they’re winning.
The Mayor

Many of the people who voted for Mayor Larry O’Brien did it because he promised a tax freeze. Now the old chromedome says he might not achieve a tax freeze after all. He says that when he promised that, he really just meant he’d try his best to keep the taxes down. He didn’t really mean to ‘promise’ a ‘freeze’. So don’t blame him if taxes go up!
Mayor Larry should just resign now. He doesn’t know what he’s doing. This is going to get a lot worse before it gets better.
And now for some good news

I like the story about the world’s tallest man saving the dolphins. You can read about it here:
Man saves dolphins
At 7’9″, he’s so tall they can hardly even fit him in the picture. I’m so glad he is using his power of tallness for good and not for evil.

New mayor

Robin Kelsey — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 02:15:20 +0000

O’Brien in a landslide

I’m disappointed but I’m ok with it. He’s a conservative but it’s not like when Mike Harris won in 1995 and we knew we were in for a few years of mean-spirited bean-counting government. Not to mention the feds under Harper. Other than not plowing the streets or cutting the grass in the parks, I don’t think mayors have much capacity to do harm.

I think the people of Ottawa opted for a hi-tech business guy because that’s what they know and respect. My choice, little gay Alex Munter, didn’t measure up in their eyes. Too small, too liberal, too gay.

Aside from his gleaming head and alarming eyebrows, I don’t really find O’Brien all that scary. I’m willing to wait and see what the business guy will come up with.

The first item of business will have to be light rail. O’Brien said he wanted to reboot it and start over. I approve of that, but not if it costs a lot of money. I’d rather have the wrong light rail for my billion bucks than no light rail.

From watching the telly, it doesn’t look like any of the incumbents have lost their seats, so it’s going to be the same old crew with a different mayor. Bound to be interesting!

Oh by the way…

I’ve solved the problem of getting the O-Train through downtown without digging a tunnel or running it down Albert and Slater.

It’s so obvious I don’t know why nobody ever mentions it.

We’re just going to have to put the trains on Sparks Street. It doesn’t work as a pedestrian mall anyway. Now it can have a new life as a transit hub!

Hey Larry, are you listening?

Update Nov.15:

The Ottawa Citizen knows a good idea when it hears one.

Issues of the day

Robin Kelsey — Thu, 09 Nov 2006 06:49:16 +0000

The municipal election

Chiarelli is tired. Time to go. I’d like to see small, earnest, left-leaning, openly gay Alex Munter get a chance.

Alex Munter

I find Larry O’Brien kind of scary. I think it’s the eyebrows, the pointy ears, and the shaved head.

Pointy-eared chrome-dome Larry O’Brien

So vote for Munter.

The O-Train

The train needs to run east-west. North-south is foolish. Nobody lives there.

But we should keep the one we’ve got now. It’s useful for Carleton students. And it should be extended across the Ottawa River on the Prince of Wales bridge. That would get some of the Gatineau buses off of Rideau Street.

O-Train updated, November 12:

Eureka! I’ve solved the problem of how to get the trains through downtown without a tunnel. We run them on the Sparks Street Mall.

This so-called “mall” has been a lame duck since day 1. There have never been very many pedestrians on it. Businesses complain that they can’t make it there because shoppers can’t get there by car or public transit. Now there is hardly anything there except for tawdry tourist shops. Nobody lives there. The best thing about it is the CBC.

I propose running two LRT tracks down the middle of the Sparks Street Mall. There would still be room for sidewalks. This would solve every problem: It would get the trains off of Slater and Albert, and it would revitalize Sparks Street. Shoppers would be able to get to the businesses and not only that, it would draw walkers, because people love to look at trains!

Is this brilliant or what? Maybe I’ll write a letter to the editor about it.

Afghanistan

Get out now. We’re fighting on the wrong side. Let the Taliban have it.

Iraq

Same as Afghanistan. Get out.

The Sens

Fire the coach. If your kid’s entire third-grade class fails math, do you blame the kids or the teacher?

Fire Muckler. We could have still had Chara, Hossa, and Havlat. Not to mention Hasek. The guys we’ve got now are soft and they don’t want it enough.

And in conclusion…

I’m glad to have had the opportunity to clear these things up for you. If there are still any questions I hope you will feel free to leave a comment. ;)