Lust in space

Nowak then

US astronaut Lisa Nowak faces trial for stalking her love-triangle rival with intent to kill. Police said Nowak drove 900 miles, donned a disguise and was armed with a BB gun and pepper spray when she confronted a woman she believed was a competitor for the affections of an unmarried fellow astronaut. Nowak wore a diaper on the long drive so she wouldn’t have to waste time stopping.

Nowak now

Easy-bake ovens recalled

Easy-Bake ovens sold since last May are being recalled because kids can burn their hands on them. The newly-designed ovens no longer use a light bulb as their heat source. Five children have been burned after getting their fingers or hands caught in the opening.

Oh! Canada

New Canada Food Guide caves to food industry: “Make at least half of your grain products whole grain each day,” the guide trumpets.

Concerned citizens want to know, “What is the other half… Wonder bread?”

Science lets us down again

This Canada Food Guide story gets me down. Based on their advice to eat white bread, or twinkies, or something, for half of my daily grain intake, I think the Government of Canada nutritionists who prepared this thing are a bunch of idiots. Or else… could it be?… maybe “nutrition” isn’t really a science. Maybe nutritionists have no idea what you should eat.

I used to have a lot of faith in science. Some people still do. For example, PM Stephen Harper thinks we don’t really have to make any concessions to global warming because “science,” or “technology,” will figure out a way to save our asses. The guy I share an office with thinks this too.

I don’t think it will happen that way. I think we have to get out of the damn cars and quit stripping the Alberta tar sands. And Beatrice Schell, a spokeswoman for the European Federation for Transport and Environment, says “One person flying in an airplane for one hour is responsible for the same greenhouse gas emissions as a typical Bangladeshi in a whole year.” So we better get out of the planes too.

Even if we did get out of the cars, which I don’t think is going to happen, over in China and India they are just starting to get into the cars. Yikes! We’re doomed.

I first started losing faith in science when the government fish scientists out in Newfoundland didn’t notice that they were running out of cod fish. It really crept up on those guys. “Holy cow!” they said. “Where did all the cod fish go? They were here a second ago. We better shut down the cod fishery.”

If you can’t trust scientists, who can you trust? Nobody.

Good news

Is it Amanda Forsyth, principal cellist of the NAC Symphony Orchestra, stating that it is her guilty pleasure to have a new gown for every performance?

Nah. She plays a mean cello but that gown is UGLY.

My money’s on the Canada goose that got itself frozen into the ice at Hamilton harbour, and had to be rescued by a fireman. Now that’s heartwarming. (Or it would be if it didn’t beg the question, “Why didn’t that goose fly south?”)

Speaking of science and technology, I’m not a car guy but I do kind of like this electric car, the Tesla Roadster. It’s not a hybrid, it’s just electric. You have to plug it in at night. They say it gets the equivalent of 135 miles per gallon of gas, and it goes from 0 to 60 in four seconds. It gets 250 miles (400 km) on a charge, and it looks great.

It has a base price of $92,000 US. The good news is that they are flying off the lot and Tesla is taking orders for 2008. Me, I’m waiting for the Tesla pickup truck.